So it was about 8pm and my sweet tooth was acting up. It probably had something to do with the fact that I had been watching the food channel for a couple hours. Anyway, I found some cake and frosting in the pantry and made that. Well that was in the oven I thought, how cool would it be if I could have a different color frosting to write on the cake. So I went on the internet and looked up frosting recipes (cause God knows I was lucky to find one tub of frosting, there was no way in hell there was another). I found out I needed confectionery sugar, which was unfortunately not available...so, being me, I decided to just wing it and make frosting with whatever we had...so I mixed together a crap ton of sugar, a couple egg whites, and some imitation vanilla (note that I was way too ADD to measure). It was too soupy, no matter how much sugar I add (believe me, I added a lot), so I try melting some butter in it and adding milk (not to make it thicker, but because I suddenly remembered parts of recipes I had read, and I figured that putting the whole thing in he microwave would maybe prevent salmonella, since I was sampling the mixture every time I added a new ingredient - which was like every 6 seconds). It still wasn't frosting consistency, so I added cream cheese (they put that in cake frosting, right?) and that didn't help at all. So I was all depressed 'cause I just wasted all that sugar, and as I'm contemplating whether to put it in the trash or down the sink, my eyes fall on the flour, and I have this like slow motion moment like 'hmm... this could be a really bad idea, but what the hell, I already wasted all this sugar...' So I dumped some flour in it...and some more... and a little more...and like 6 spoonfuls of flour later, it's frosting consistency. Voila! But then I taste it and it tastes like flour and is grainy from all the sugar (like when you're on the beach eating a sandy sandwich) and I think about throwing it out again. But then I was struck with culinary genius...what if I made them into cupcakes? So I adjust for flavor (aka pour more sugar in), throw some walnuts in, stick some foil in a cupcake tin (because of course we don't have those cupcake wrapper things) and stick them in the oven. And when they come out 20 mins later they are these really good walnut vanilla muffins and I am totally amazed and my dad eats like 3 of them (good thing he's not diabetic), which means they must be good. The End.
My new culinary catchphrase: What the hell?
